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MPB S
MCR Member
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Posted: Wednesday February 27th, 2008 10:57 am |
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BEING BRITISH.
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
- Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
- Only in Britain do people order cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
- Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
- Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
- Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
- Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION ...
- 3 Brits die each year testing if a battery works on their tongue.
- 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
- 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
- 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering the Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
- 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
- British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
- 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
- A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
- 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
and finally..:
- In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
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minorparts
Member
| Joined: | Friday March 23rd, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 865 |
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Posted: Friday February 29th, 2008 07:58 am |
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 ....what some great statistics! Do you know how many of us were injured removing rusty panels form old Minis?? Pass the elastoplast somebody .
Talking of such things, my wife works in a pre-school where regulations dictate that she had to go on a first aid course. Good idea. However, the staff are then told that if a child does get injured, they should on no account administer first aid because they could find themselves being sued if the child later shows side effects of that treatment.....
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Andrew1967
MCR Member
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Posted: Friday February 29th, 2008 04:30 pm |
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What a fantastic country we now live in 
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Sal
Member
| Joined: | Saturday November 19th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 272 |
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Posted: Monday March 3rd, 2008 10:39 pm |
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| I used to lick batteries as a kid and we used to put them in the oven and heat them up to squeeze the last bit of life out of them !!!! If you did that these days, some lovely social worker would come along and cart you off somewhere. They say it is easier to get your kid back off a rottweiler than it is a social worker !!!!! Let's hear it for the nanny state
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minorparts
Member
| Joined: | Friday March 23rd, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 865 |
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Posted: Tuesday March 4th, 2008 08:26 am |
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I hope thay weren't CAR batteries Sal ....
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Graham Bichard
Member
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Posted: Tuesday March 4th, 2008 02:03 pm |
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I remember my dad doing that on Christmas Day!
And he was an electrician!!!
(And he was the one who got me to put my tongue on a 9V battery! Must try that on my son  )
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Sal
Member
| Joined: | Saturday November 19th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 272 |
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Posted: Wednesday March 5th, 2008 11:05 pm |
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| They were little batteries that went in torches and kids' toys, so no problem ! Maybe I ought not put a Mini battery in the nuke ( microwave) then ???
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minorparts
Member
| Joined: | Friday March 23rd, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 865 |
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Posted: Thursday March 6th, 2008 07:37 am |
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No, don't try that at home Sal! ...........
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Mini4Ever
MCR Member
| Joined: | Saturday March 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Netherlands |
| Posts: | 512 |
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Posted: Thursday March 6th, 2008 10:58 am |
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| If you replace 'British' with 'Dutch' and 'Britain' with 'Holland' in the first part, the story remains true
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Sal
Member
| Joined: | Saturday November 19th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 272 |
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Posted: Thursday March 6th, 2008 11:19 pm |
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Car parts in the microwave seem to be a bad idea - how about using a dishwasher as a parts washer then ? Just need to source a dish washer really and take it from there 
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mk1coopers
MCR Member
| Joined: | Wednesday September 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 163 |
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Posted: Friday March 7th, 2008 06:43 am |
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| Glass lucas indicator lenses come up a treat in the dishwasher.......so I've been told!
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Current time is 02:06 pm | |
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